By Molly Arabella Kirk
A fresh start. Sound tempting?
Let’s face it, there’s nothing more electrifying and hopeful than a fresh start, the tantalising temptation accompanying a new chapter in your life – An unopened novel, unblemished by prying fingertips, the snowy expanses of the first page of your new journal, an unfurnished studio apartment that you can’t wait to arrange based off your “Future Home” Pinterest board, unscrewing untouched lipstick still exhibiting its perfect slant in your favourite red shades. Following the same throng of thinking, nothing can possibly be more exciting than the unchartered potential of a whole new year. So, we set our new year’s resolutions, telling ourselves that this year we will do better, read more, actually start going to the gym, apply for more jobs, see our friends more or simply stop being a mess and pull ourselves together (my goal this year).
Born from this blank slate mindset, this sense that anything is possible, is the sentiment of “new year, new me.” A harmful approach whereby each year you expect to become a new person and underpinning this expectation is the unyielding pressure of unattainable new year’s resolutions. As someone who had a turbulent year last year to say the least, having struggled with my mental health, academic and career stresses, relationship issues and the sharp growing pains that go hand-in-hand with leaving university, the idea of utter transformation, although tempting, feels disloyal to the steady progress and growth I have already made along the way. Despite the moments last year where I could be found sobbing messily into my pillow late at night, smudged mascara running down my cheeks, drowning in an unpredictable ocean of anxiety where each tidal wave smashed me back onto a shore of uncertainty, stress and self-loathing, I still survived it, and that in itself is something worth celebrating.
In other words, you don’t NEED a new you (what’s wrong with the old you?). The idea that you need discarding and replacing with a newer, shinier model yearly because the last version of you made mistakes or felt bad is not only harmful but counterintuitive. We as humans are changing constantly, metamorphosising into our next phases due to our experiences and mistakes – such is the beauty of life. Every year you remain the same charmingly flawed human being and instead of trying to move away from yourself to find someone else, you should be backtracking and meeting yourself halfway. Be kind to yourself and do the work. The focus this year and every year should be on learning, evolving, improving and growing so that next year you can look back and feel proud of how far you’ve come, instead of fixating on your short comings and becoming someone else.
For these reasons, according to an article written by Jennifer Li, it is better and healthier to set New Year’s “intentions” rather than resolutions and this idea has resounded with me. After all, when setting new year’s resolutions the intention behind each goal and the journey to achieving it is what truly matters, not the end destination. Read below for some areas to consider when setting your own “intentions” and moving forward throughout the New Year…
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